This came from a 32 year old man.
Literally all she said was “no.”
I’ve come to understand why, during my internet dating years, so many women responded to my inquiries (I promise I wasn’t creepy) by not responding at all. At the time it drove me crazy, the silence, even more so than the rejections. We’re both on this webspace looking to meet people, can’t you give me a simple “no thanks” so I know when to walk away?
Now I get it. If you’re a woman on the internet, every single interaction is a roll of the dice and you can never tell when that roll will come up “u ugly bitch” so it’s safer and easier to just not say anything. In the online dating world, that becomes common sense.
But never forget: there are men who don’t even wait for that reply. Just being a woman online can be enough to trigger a dice roll. Imagine if every tweet or article you wrote meant a personal insult came your way. Sure, you can block, you can mute, you can ignore, but eventually you’d start to wonder if it wouldn’t be easier to not say anything.
That’s how silencing works and it makes me furious. And to those who insist that women must “grow thicker skin” and simply “accept” the reality of online abuse, here’s a revelation for you: anyone who already suffers through a daily flood of insults or threats just to exist online has thicker skin than you. They’re the ones with the courage, not you and your false keyboard bravado.
To say nothing of the women who face real-life harassment every day, be it catcalls from strangers, an oppressive workplace, or a real-life stalker. Compared to them, we’re all cowards.
Bless you, sir.
Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is okay. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.
making plans with friends like
ESTP: super attractive physically but it’s all downhill from there. never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible. somehow still lovable.
ESTJ: loud, logical, and get shit done — they are the warrior class of the life rpg. power stats make them unbeatable and if you encounter one, maybe just curl up and forfeit, to save time.
ESFP: giggly little shits. fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away. great for lifting your mood, not that great at lifting your credit score.
ESFJ: too appropriate, totally lacking in awkwardness. they’ll never forget your birthday, which will make you feel like shit when you constantly forget theirs.
ENTP: excellent companions if you enjoy people who instantly see through all your shit. very clever and very intuitive, you can’t fool them. i suggest you invest in other friends — ones you *can* fool.
ENTJ: impatient with people who make mistakes, namely, everyone. they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead. cuddle them and see what happens. i’m curious.
ENFP: too puppy to live. best suited for the profession of musical nanny. not advised for use around an open flame.
ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.
ISTP: such butts. best suited for an apocalypse scenario, if no such scenario exists, they will create danger because they get bored. don’t encourage them, but don’t discourage them, as reverse psychology works too well.
ISTJ: low drama and low maintenance, best value at this price tier. best suited to actual human existence. least weird, which makes them kinda weird.
ISFP: squishy little darlings you might want to keep in your pocket, but please don’t or they will become forlorn. they notice everything, and it’s unnerving.
ISFJ: quietly and proudly do things for others. if you have a ring you need to deliver to mordor, take an ISFJ along with you for best results.
INTP: cute intergalactic spiders you want to hug and mistrust. prone to making you laugh but then days later you will wonder whether you were the butt of the joke.
INTJ: major dicks and kinda proud of it. prone to being right. prone to liking trance music way too much. all the ones i’ve ever met have been unexpectedly kinky. so i guess, expectedly.
INFP: they fall out of the sky and are raised by unicorns. if you feed one it will follow you home. they dissipate in water.
INFJ: chameleons appropriating your emotions and going quietly mad. prone to meltdowns and needing lots of naps.